Dear Dallas,
Your Trinity River Vision-Project-Whatever-The-Hell-It's-Called sucks. There. I said it. Your plan sucks very large whale testicles (do those even exist?). First of all, why the hell are you adding a rowing course on a river that is disgusting brown and has enough chemicals and waste to spontaneously combust? Also, why are you making fake lakes that do nothing more than look pretty? Another thing, why did you pay Calatrava a gazillion dollars to design 2 bridges that could've been just as pretty had they been designed by someone else? Why are you "restoring the meandering path" of the Trinity if your ultimate goal is flood control? Please tell me how 2 small (in comparison to the flood plain project area) chains of wetlands will help control flooding? One last question before I move on to my solution: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU BUILDING YET ANOTHER TOLL ROAD IN SAID PROJECT AREA!?
Okay. Whew. I'm calm now.
My awesome plan kind of involves the same things, but in a much more practical application as well as some more realistic options to not incur billions of dollars of cost.
1. If you're going to make lakes, you might as well make them useful AND pretty. Instead of having 3 off-channel lakes, you should have one much larger main-channel lake. If you have a larger, deeper lake, then you get the inherent flood control capabilities of a reservoir. As much as the Trinity floods its flood plain, this will obviously not be the only answer to flood control. Put the rowing course here if you MUST have one. Added bonus: a larger, deeper lake will allow some siltation to occur, clearing up the water some. Added bonus number 2: you'll be forced to clear up the river water quality since the lake will concentrate toxins, and I don't think you want headlines plastered everywhere reading "Dallas Lake Toxins Kill Hundreds" or "Toxic Dallas Lake Cancer Causing Nightmare," etc.
2. This is about those dang bridges. I wish I could say that you shouldn't have paid Calatrava to do them, but you already did it. I will say this: the bridges look gorgeous. It should be noted that both bridge designs have already been done and with shocking similarity. See the following pictures.
These are pictures of the A1 bridge in Reggio Emilia, Italy. Note how it is both bridges in one design, lol. These pictures were taken from Flickr, the user
ecatoncheires.
Now, these are the two to be built in Dallas. Margaret McDermott on top and Margaret Hunt Hill on bottom. These pictures were taken from the Trinity Trust's Facebook page.
Alright. Look at how pretty those unoriginal, very expensive bridges are. At least they'll add something to Dallas' skyline that no other city has.
3. Flood control. As I have already mentioned, since money is going to be spent to change the river's course and to dig out aesthetic lakes, why not spend the money to deepen the river and widen it? Eh, eh? I think whatever money is going to be used to do the dirt moving could be better spend by widening and deepening the current channel. As I've calculated, if the river were widened from ~100ft. to ~1250ft. and deepened by 5 feet then most of the water during rains would stay within the actual banks of the river. Imagine that.
This is just for fun but, I calculated the volume of a man-made lake as well as the extra storage capacity of said lake if the trinity were deepened and dammed. I know this sounds ludicrous, but since this is supposed to be Dallas' largest public works project, I feel like the public would gladly pay more taxes to see those levees lowered or even eliminated totally. I'll get to that part in a second. If the Netherlands can reclaim 40% of it's land back from the ocean, then Dallas can do what I will describe. My idea is that the Trinity River/Lake should be deepened from ~15ft. to ~55ft. I also think it should be widened to ~1200ft. instead of the current ~100ft. I pretty much envision the cross sectional shape of a trapezoid for the River/Lake. To calculate the storage capacity I pretty much just did the volume of a very large trapezoidal prism. Very easy. I compared it to the capacity of the levees at maximum capacity (which also is a trapezoidal prism if simplified). In my plan, I also added about 10 feet of flood capability (also in the form of a trapezoid) to protect park equipment and the like. It would look kind of like this (it's very a very crude idea!):
The weird thing about Dallas' levee system is that the levees around downtown bottleneck. The width between the levees at Westmoreland Rd is about ~2600ft. while the width at Commerce St is ~1500ft. And hydrological engineers wonder why the floodwaters back up and steadily raise. It's called the funnel effect, hello. I'm not sure why the levees are like that, but it's part of the reason they fill so readily. I have made adjustments to my Lake plan to follow suit. The part near downtown would be ~1200ft. wide while around Westmoreland Rd it would be ~2200ft. wide. If the length of the project were to extend from Loop 12 in Southeast Dallas to Loop 12 in Northwest Dallas, then there would no longer be a need for the levees. I think it'd be pretty sweet to see Dallas without those horrific levees. The city of Dallas could even drain the Lake/River significantly in anticipation of very heavy rains. Then flooding really wouldn't be much of a problem anymore. A wide river would look very lovely in Dallas.
4. Stupid toll road. Why the eff are you making a beautiful sprawling park that is supposed to be the central park of the South? Last time I checked there weren't many public parks that had toll roads running through them. As if Dallas needed yet another highway. Why not spend the money on upgrading and reconfiguring the highways around downtown? Pretty much every study on traffic in Dallas has indicated that adding a lame ass toll road and fixing the downtown highways have the same effect. Heck, start tolling people for going into the city center like London. Then you could have a toll, cut down on traffic, and encourage alternative forms of transportation. I say scrap the toll idea in general. Keep that frikin toll out of the park. It'll be ugly and since it will be between the levees, don't you know what happens to smog in valleys? Just take a look at LA or Phoenix. Sure Dallas, give people yet another way to bypass the downtown area that you are so feverishly striving to revitalize.
5. Why did Dallas put the Lew Sterrett Unit right next to the Trinity and Reunion Tower? I mean, it's nice that you gave the prisoners a nice view, but really? I thought the City was trying to encourage "river front" growth? Yeah, a prison is the best way I can think of. Now, when you approach the core, you get a lovely addition to the skyline in the form of a prison. A big, giant, brown, concrete block. Yum. I guess it's okay since downtown doesn't seem to be able to fill all that office space. You know, no one wants to live in downtown when there's prisoners there. It's just a vibe thing. It FEELS weird. Houston has that same problem. 85% of downtown Houston's population is prisoners. Heh. See why no one lives there now?
6. Why was Industrial renamed River Front? Last time I checked, even during a crazy flood, the river is not visible from any portion of that road. Misleading, much? There is a nice view of the backside of a levee, though. Maybe it should be renamed again to Levee Backside Rd? Seems more appropriate.
See, if Dallas were to use MY plan, it would probably cost a heck of a lot more, but then River Front Blvd would actually have a meaning. People would want to develop those decrepit industrial sites. It's highly en vogue to develop industrial sites into more useful, attractive areas. Humans also like to live near water. Especially near water with views. Humans + industrial river front property + fastest growing metro area in the US + downtown core = success. Think of how many repeats of Victory Park (successful versions even!) the City could have. Then, I'm thinking across the river in West Dallas, there could be a river front shopping/play area like the Boardwalk in Bossier City! Not only is the western shore of the Trinity perfect for beautiful views of downtown, but it would serve the purpose of helping spur economic growth of the western side of Dallas. Meh. I suppose Dallas will never be that since it's all about exclusivity of the wealthy.
Dallas, hire me. Done.
Isn't Dallas pretty with the river and such (even with the prison in front of Reunion Tower and the Hyatt)? This picture was taken from the Trinity Trust's Facebook page.
Also, if Dallas had a respectable river front and ample water space, as well as maybe a new stadium or something in place of Reunion Arena, then I'm smelling Olympics!!! Not a Dallas / Fort Worth Olympics, but a Dallas Olympics. Sorry Ft. Worth, it just doesn't make logistical sense. We don't need another Atlanta repeat. Imagine. The 2020 or 2024 Dallas Olympics ... ooooohhhhhh!!!!
My giant letter is done. I spent random boredom time writing this and I think I may even send it in to the City of Dallas! Whaaaat! Not really, but maybe.
Jovan, out! I don't even know why I wrote all this, hahaha!
